The Lie of Perfectionism

Father recently loving exposed how much I am still stuck in "perfectionistic" thinking and especially how He wanted to free me from this thinking in my relationships.  I heard someone say that the time you want a perfectionist is when he is your brain surgeon.  Perfectionism lies to us because it tells us when everything is perfect then we can be happy or joyful.  It lies to us because it tells us to stretch for it's impossible standard only to fail again and be discouraged.  Perfectionism whispers that if we do things perfectly than no one will reject us or be disappointed in us.  It lies to us telling us if we meet it's impossible standard then finally we can rest.  Perfectionism lies to us telling us that if we do things perfectly we can avoid failure.  Perfectionism lies to us telling us there is only one way to do things and that is perfectly.

I am convinced that perfectionism is not just rooted in high standards but in a deep fear of failure.  Let's face it if you are human living on this earth you will fail, failure can be an incredible opportunity to learn.  Yet perfectionism at it's root forbids failure as an option and thus has no way out when you experience failure.

Perfectionism when applied to other people (which is the outcome if you are agreeing with it for yourself) has destructive consequences.  If you are over 40 years old you have probably realized how much brokenness, sin, and woundedness there is in people.  If it has not deeply touched our own life, we certainly are connected to people who we see have profound influence on their lives.

So what is the antidote to Perfectionism's destructive force in our lives?  I believe Jesus as our perfect sacrifice satisfies the high demands of the Law but also our own perfectionism.  Through Christ we receive complete acceptance, transforming our sinful brokenness to a new beautiful wholeness and newness of life.  His acceptance of us was so complete it included every dimension of our sinfulness, selfishness, failure, shame, addiction, and idolatry.

I believe this radical acceptance making us righteous "in Christ", derived only from God's grace levels the playing field.  We can now accept people freely knowing that "in Christ" they are seen through the lens of new life, not perfectionism.  Let's face it perfectionism is really idolatry because it elevates our standard above God.  Worship of the complete and perfect one leads us to a place of humility and empowered to accept others as He accepts us.

In Christ,
Bret