Living as an Orphan vs. Son and Joy

The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about joy and took me to Psalm 16 where it says that "in His Presence is the fullness of joy."  At times I think I am looking to experience joy more as an orphan that as a son.  As an orphan joy comes from circumstances and life going the way you want it to go, in other words joy is dependent on the world around you.  Yet no matter how many times things see to go your way, inevitably there are the difficulties of life that don't seem to cooperate.  From an orphan heart I get frustrated, disappointed, and angry when I can't control my world around me to get what I want.  What is it that we really want, we want joy, peace, love, freedom, hope, dreams coming true, and knowing our life is significant (just to name a few).

Getting all those dimensions of life when I am living from an orphan heart seem dependent on me and then I need to figure out a way to get them.  Yet this is living life from my soul and even from my physical body (especially when it's not getting it's needs met).  Living from our soul and body realms means that I look to the world around me, people around me, me being successful to get affirmation from those around me, or even if I look to material things to fill the emptiness.  Yet as I attempt to fulfill my need for joy in an orphan way, the negatives of the world bombard our soul and it is a constant uphill battle.

As a son of God, the joy I need is found in the Presence of my Father and being intimate with Him.  Yet my soul has been twisted to expect that joy will end because some negative circumstance will come my way to short circuit my experience of joy.  This has been my soul's experience- to fly high with good circumstances, affirmation, or life going well but then to plummet when the negatives of life (external) seem to swallow up the joy.

As I slow down to rest in His Presence, the Holy Spirit begins to show me where this expectation, negative situation, disappointment, and feeling of failure cycle began as a little boy.  When you live from the externals in life, you will be subject to the values, perspectives, and even results it has on your soul.  In the midst of this Father is calling us higher to a place where we experience the fullness of joy connected to who He is for us and what He is doing in us whether the circumstances of our life seem to be going well or are negative and overwhelming.  I am struck by the reality that God is the One who gives true joy but there is a journey with connecting with Him to experience His joy.

Learning Joy,
Bret