Father continues to be speaking to me about a couple of themes in this season, one is fear and how powerful this is in our lives and the other is loving relationships. I am struck that when an orphan heart is operational in our lives, our relationships center around what we can get from them since we are in a place of lack and need. How do you know if you are operating in orphan relationships? Here are few indicators: you often feel disappointed by what people don't do for you or don't give you, you feel emotionally needy, you are offended when people say no to you, you struggle with holding onto bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness, live from a place of reacting to what the other person does, you look for what others can give you, your expectations of others seem to often not be met, there is ongoing strife/conflict in your relationships that doesn't get completely resolved, you have a hard time apologizing to others for your mistakes, have a critical or judgemental attitude toward others, you are frustrated if others give you feedback that isn't completely positive, and you find that you feel distant in relationships. These are just a few that the Lord brought to mind as I reflected on Scripture and my own life. I think of the fruits of the Spirit vs. the fruits of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-23), many of these characteristics are connected to relationships. Isn't it true that much of the Word of God looks at our beliefs and ways of living in relationship with God first but then in relationship with others. To summarize orphan relationships have at their core, selfishness and meeting my own needs. Whereas son relationships have at their core, love and building lasting, strong, and honoring connections with others. As we live from our true identity as sons and daughters receiving the daily love and affirmation of our loving Father, then we have something to give into our relationships. When we are operating from an orphan heart, this is a place of poverty and lack so we are looking to others to fill our deficit. When we are drawing value, love, and acceptance from Father's love for us "in Christ" then we are being filled up and the love that we receive we are now in a place to give. Jesus in commissioning the disciples said, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give." (Mark 10:8) In spending time with Jesus, seeing Him teach and demonstrate the Kingdom, and receiving revelation that He was the Son of God positioned them to receive from Him and then to go on to give to others what had been given. The Son, Jesus, drew from the Father through the Holy Spirit and the disciples as they honored Jesus as the Son of God by doing life with Him then were able to draw from what had been given to them. Recently as lies were triggered in my heart that I was alone, unloved, and hopeless (an orphan heart) I noticed that I protect myself when I am in this place and tend to not be loving to others. Experientially knowing the truth of my identity as a son who is completely loved and secure is vital for me to walk in loving relationships. There are two concepts for sin in the Bible, one is the transgression of the Law of God but the other is missing the mark. Missing the mark means that we fall short of Jesus command to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. It is a sin against love, when we live from an orphan heart we move to a place of meeting our own needs at others expense and we sin against them. Jesus was freely able to give to others because He lived from a place of total dependence on the Father, He didn't live from His own resources. In living this life in Father's Love I am discovering more and more the importance of absolute dependence on Christ. God is love and therefore the source of agape love, living in continual connection with Him provides the love we need to sow into our most important relationships.
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