After being in Toronto for the Radical Heart Conference and delving into all the books I can find on sonship, I have been impacted by James Jordan's book "Sonship: The Journey into Father's Heart. Forgiveness is at the core of the gospel, we are forgiven for our sins past, present, and future (Colossians 2:13&14); but forgiveness has a purpose which is for us to reconcile us in our relationship with Father. When we hold unforgiveness and judgements against our parents then we are functionally are operating under the law of judgement (which is under the Law of sin and death) and therefore our hearts are hardened to receiving God's love and grace. It is important to understand that God's love and grace are not conditional but our choices do impact our receiving His grace. Our unforgiveness and judgements towards our parents also become a barrier for us relating to God as a Father because the distort who He is in our eyes. So us choosing to forgive our parents from our hearts, letting go of the judgements we have made in response to their sin against us will take us out from functioning under the Law of sin and death to being set free under the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:2). Since Adam and Eve sinned, we have been under the bent of sin, thus it is default to judge those who sin against us but we sin when we judge them. Forgiveness is at the heart of love, God forgave us "in Christ" so that we might be brought to life while we were still sinners and we are set free to forgive others who have sinned against us even if they don't ask for forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32). This invitation to forgiveness includes that God will transform our hearts from hardness to being tenderhearted. Forgiving our parents from our hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit is essential to experiencing Father's love, yet the heart of sonship is us returning in our hearts to being sons and daughters. The author James Jordan believes that 90% of the Western world does not have the heart of sons and daughters towards their parents. As I read this chapter in the book I realized that in my heart I had disconnected from my father as a son when I was 6 years old and he committed suicide. Many would feel that I had good reason to disown him, judge him, and try to distance myself from him. Yet God chose my father to be my earthly father and for me to reject him is an act of rebellion. It is no wander I have struggled to be a son to my Heavenly Father because I have not been a son to my earthly father. I could tell it pained my mother that the only memory I had was of the final act my father did while on the earth, blocking every other kindness, good word, or tenderness he showed toward me. I felt that my mother just did not understand the depth of pain my father had caused me, which holds some truth but in a way she was pointing more toward sonship than my feelings of pain, abandonment, hurt, and rejection. This disconnecting as a son has been at the core of my orphan heart, yet how could the heart of sonship be restored. James Jordan gives his life as an example of how the heart of sonship was restored in his own life, yet my father has been dead for 38 years. James was able to write a letter to his dad asking him to forgive him for how he had not been a son, dishonored his father, and had a bitter attitude toward him. Then James, led by the Spirit, returned to the heart of sonship by reaching out in love, forgiveness, and reconciliation to his father. Jesus is our example as a Son and I believe His journey is our ultimate model. The Holy Spirit began to heal my heart at a deep level as I sought forgiveness for my heart of rebellion, dishonor, judgement, and distance with my father. I long to be a son to my Heavenly Father but this must come from submission to the Spirit of Sonship in me (Galatians 4:6), not from my own ideas of what produces sonship. I also sense the Holy Spirit leading me to some healing in my relationship with my mother, there has been much in the last few years. Shiloh Place Ministries once said that 80% of our identity comes through our earthly fathers, which fits with the Hebraic traditions of the father's naming their children and also blessing them into their identity and destiny.
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