As we have made our transition from Exchanged Life Ministries I have been riddled with insecurity, anxiety, and fear. I knew that letting go of ELM was Father asking me to let go of an idol of security but I did not realize how deep the roots of insecurity were in my heart. Father had given me many promises including, "All those who are being led by the Spirit are the sons of God." We had seen Father come through in amazing ways to make a place for us at BridgeWay Church and also in our own ministry, Destined for Sonship Ministries. Yet my heart was still affected by these nagging insecurities and fear, like a cat that was locked up in a closet trying to get out. Father had even prompted me to share what was weighing on my heart with our Pastor which was a great relief when he was gracious and understanding. It also looked like we would have the financial support we needed to continue in the ministry. We were at a Conference, "Awakened to Destiny" and I commented to my wife that we ought to expense the Conference. She said she did not want to put too many expenses to the ministry but I had a sense that Father was going to provide for the Conference. A supporter and friend was at the Conference, he handed us a year end check which included an extra gift for the cost of the Conference. I love to see God answer prayer quickly and supernaturally. Difficulty in finances over the years is also a major trigger for the insecurities in my heart, yet I knew that financial security could not be my source of security. While we had received favor at the church it has not been finalized yet if we will have a role as part-time staff, so this further brought my insecurity to the surface. I knew the Lord was doing a work in my heart and getting ready to bring a major revelation but why does great revelation always seem to come with a cost. As the insecurity, anxiety, and fear came bubbling to the surface (it always seems to be a process of things getting exposed, not just a quick wham), I poured my heart before the Father. Whenever you are in doubt it is a good bet to cry out to the Lord or when you want more to cry out to the Lord, I believe he loves raw honesty instead of cloaked hiding and games. As I was crying out I sensed the gentle nudge of the Father pointing me toward eternal security in Him. I would tell you that I believe in the New Covenant that when we are born-again that we are saved and secure eternally "in Christ" through believing in our heart and confessing with our lips (Romans 10:9-11). I understood this in my mind theologically why I believed in eternal security but my heart was in a different place. I don't believe Father wants our heads and hearts to be out of alignment with His Word but for our whole being to agree with the truth and thus being set free. As I began to reflect on eternal security from my place of insecurity the Holy Spirit was reminding me of a Scripture that I then found in John 14:1-3, which as I read it the water of His Spirit began to crash into the parched places of my soul. Jesus says, "Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am there you may be also." The Holy Spirit also reminded me of Ephesians 2:6 which says, "and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus," I put in bold those phrases which hit my heart as revelation, the Holy Spirit was showing me that while I was looking for a home for my heart on the earth, He had already prepared a heavenly place for me in the Father's house. It was like the Holy Spirit pulled back the curtain on a great masterpiece, it was that I had a heavenly place in the Father's house. I could feel the arms of the Father wrap around me giving me the security that I had longed for but couldn't find on the earth. I believe the heart is always looking for a home and our home with our parents growing up was to be a beginning place but the home finds it's ultimate meaning in this dwelling place united to Christ in the Father's house. Could it be that the Father's house is so large that I have a specific place reserved just for me and that I can experience that now in the Spirit by faith but it will come to pass finally when I leave this body to be with the Lord forever. I began to see the importance of not only believing this by faith but to actually operate from this heavenly place would bring a level of authority, freedom, and security here on the earth as well. This gave me a desire to experience this place that God has made for me, what a gift when I deserved death and was given mercy but also a heavenly dwelling place. I believe an eternal perspective is the only one that puts my daily life into a proper perspective. The Lord showed it to me this way on an occasion, He showed me an example of the pilot who had his eyes on the horizon and thus could level the plane. If a pilot puts his eyes on the ground below or clouds close by, he will lose a balanced perspective and the plane will begin to veer off course as he orients to whatever he is looking toward. The focus of the eyes of our heart is critical to the direction we are going in life.
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